The Accident

I believe the death of my father was the first incident to get the wheels turning, to get Mike and I in Iowa. After Dad died on Easter Sunday, I drove the 13 hours to Davenport that next Monday with plans that Mike, Molly, and Maggie would drive up on Tuesday.  I did a lot of thinking during that drive. I thought a lot about what to say for his eulogy and I also wondered why we were not driving up as a family. Tuesday I sat with my sisters and my 90 year old mother and discussed funeral plans and schedule. We would go see Dad later that day. While sitting at the kitchen table, I received a phone call from Molly. They had been in a car accident in Nashville. They were in stop and go traffic and when they were at a complete stop, a women believed to be going 35 MPH hit them from behind.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I was upset with my Dad. Why wasn't he watching out for them and why didn't he want them at his funeral? Molly said they seemed to be okay but Dad was acting weird. I told the girls to call an ambulance to get him to the hospital and to keep me updated. Later, I found out he refused many times to go, but finally gave in.

When we pulled into the funeral home's parking lot, I received a call from Maggie. Unrelated to the accident, they found a tennis ball size tumor on Mike's kidney. The doctor's were pretty sure it was cancer.  Again, I couldn't believe what I was hearing and my heart sunk. Dealing with sadness all around me in Davenport and a distraught family in Nashville. I felt I couldn't do anything for them because I was so far away.

I then realized what Dad had done. He wanted me at his funeral but he needed to get Mike into the hospital without hurting anyone, so they would find that ticking time bomb. I truly believe my Dad saved my husband's life.

I decided not to tell my Mom until after Dad's funeral and right before I headed back home. When I did tell her, she agreed that Dad had something to do with it.

Today is the one year anniversary of the accident.


Mike had the tumor and kidney removed and he is now a healthy guy.

My Dad, Ned Walling

I don't remember exactly when we found out Dad was sick. He had to make the decision to either treat his cancer at the age of 89, or leave it alone and enjoy his last days. The decision was easy for him. He decided to treat it so that he could stay around for Mom. Besides that, he survived cancer 20 years earlier. When the four of us girls found out he would go through treatment, we knew we had to take shifts to be with him and to help him through radiation and oral chemo. Mom was 90 and the doctors said she should not be driving him every day to his treatments and would not be strong enough to help Dad. Mom thought she was the strongest woman in the world and would be able to do everything but the thought of us girls coming to stay for weeks at a time was appealing to her. This photo is my Dad when he was young. Not sure when this was taken.

We each took two week shifts. My sisters Jo and Sherry had the first four weeks and the reports were good. Even though the radiation was making him tired, he seemed to be getting stronger. When he needed to walk, he could sometimes do it on his own using a walker. When it was my shift, he was already into a daily routine which made it easy for me. He spent most of his time in his recliner in the bedroom napping and watching television. I always made it a point to sit with him during Jeopardy, our favorite show to watch together. I would sit on a bench with the bedroom window behind me. That is when I learned about the bird.  The bird story will come at a later time.
A day before I was to leave, my dad started going downhill. No appetite and wasn't able to keep anything down. He looked at me once and asked, "What am I going to do without you?". I explained that my sister Mary was coming. Mary lives in the same town, Davenport, and my Dad was relieved to hear she would be staying overnight with them during her shift.

Dad was very athletic. This is just one of his favorite sports.

After I drove back to Georgia, Mary would keep us updated during her first week shift. Towards the end of the week, I received her phone call stating she and Mom were calling in Hospice. They didn't think it would be much longer. I couldn't believe it. My sister Sherry from Wisconsin came to stay with Mom and Mary. When they met with the hospice nurse, the nurse asked Sherry to get a blanket to put under Dad for comfort. Sherry grabbed one from the closet, not paying attention to what it was and they made him comfortable. He was still joking when they kissed him goodnight. Dad passed on March 27th, 2016 a year ago today. When my mom and sisters woke that morning, they found he had passed peacefully in his sleep.
This is a picture of the blanket my Dad died on.

If you remember, March 27th 2016 was Easter Sunday.

If you want to hear the eulogy at my Dad's funeral, to know more about him go to this website and it starts around the 2:25 mark.
http://www.edwards-ucc.org/media/2016-03-31_Ned_Walling.mp3

What a great Dad!

Getting Started

First, we needed help unloading the truck. Good thing we have family close by. The women supervised as the men unloaded, of course. Everything went into the basement since we will be tearing up the upstairs.

Mike organized the basement so that we have our bedroom without a bed, a kitchen and an office along with his living room with TV.   The above picture is before he organized. We sleep upstairs since it has been deathly cold up here, high in the 40's.

We tore out the top cabinets but when it came to the bottom cabinets we quit because I am a little afraid of plumbing. I woke this morning with the decision on cutting the PVC pipe and getting the sink out of here. It has been backed up since we moved in anyway. My mom would throw everything down the garbage disposal so I guess it was time to back up.

I also started to paint the window trim in primer. This is going to take a very long time. Tomorrow morning the designer from KBD is coming to measure. Mike said I was mean to her in the showroom. I went in thinking how expensive it was going to be to order cabinets from a kitchen specialty store and I guess it showed. Mike had to pull me aside to tell me to play nice.

I also made an appointment with the Lowes kitchen designer. She will be coming to measure on Wednesday. I will have two estimates.

If you are wondering about our cats, they are doing fine. It was rough for awhile but they are now used to their new house and not being able to go outside. I will write more about their adventure at another time.

Tomorrow is a very special day. 

I am in Davenport Iowa, my hometown that I left in 1979. I then left Iowa all together in 1985. So how did I get back here? This is the short version.
2016 was the year this started. Dad became ill and passed. My mom passed shortly after, from a broken heart. I have three sisters and we held an estate sale. It was sad for us to sell everything, clean up the house, prepare to put it on the market and then leave it for the last time. While doing all of this, my sister Jo said that maybe she would buy the house and move in, but then quickly realized that couldn't happen with her first grandchild on the way in Charlotte N.C. where she also lived. So we all left for our homes, very sad.
The house was put on the market. There were many people that were interested but they all thought the house was outdated and needed too much work for the price.
I woke one morning with the idea that my husband Mike and I should buy the house from my sisters and fix it up. It is a much bigger house than we had and the basement was very appealing to my husband.
So these stories will chronicle the fixing up of Ned and Bonnie Walling's house. I can't quite call it my own yet so we call it the Hayes house